How to identify and avoid self sabotage

Does this sound familiar??

“I have worked hard today I have earned this pizza”

“I have had a stressful day I need this glass of wine”

“Its the weekend I’m allowed a treat, I will start Monday”

Do you do well for a while and then all of a sudden without realising it go back to your old habits? This is called self sabotage. It all comes down to your mindset, psychology and habits. A diet will not help you get to the cause of WHY you self sabotage or binge eat. It goes deeper than that! You can know what to do but actually implementing it can be a lot harder. Especially with the stresses of everyday life to contend with.

Are you scared of success??

I hear you say “ why on earth would I be scared to be successful?”

If you are successful many fears you didn’t realise you had will come to light. Here are some examples..

You use food/alcohol as a way to change how you feel. If you’re feeling down, eating or drinking will change your physiology and make you feel good. If you’re successful you won’t have this as a safety blanket anymore. How will you deal with your feelings on your own?

“Once I lose weight I will do that”.. This is a safety blanket response so you can avoid taking action on things that intimidate or scare you or are new to you.

You must get to the cause of WHY you self sabotage

Quite often we fall off track because we aren’t sure that we are going to be any happier when we achieve our goal. Is this you? We can worry that our life will change, that we will lose people we love because it takes us further away from them. We worry that we cannot enjoy the things that we do with our loved ones such as eat or drink alcohol. But we need to remember of course we can still do these things. We just have to be sensible and have balance.

Why don’t you try giving this exercise a go… Write down 5 reasons you think your life will be worse off if you achieve your goal and be VERY HONEST with yourself. Here are some examples..

  • My partner loves to cook, I won’t be able to eat his food
  • Deep down I don’t really believe i’m going to achieve it.  Nothing works, so what’s the point in putting all the effort in as its wasted time I wont get back and it never lasts
  • I can never eat the foods that I enjoy again
  • I don’t want to spend all my time exercising every day

Face your fears and address your reasons now look at the logic in them:

You won’t be able to eat your partner’s food – Yes you will in moderation. Your partner can still make amazing food, it doesn’t always have to be super high in calories and cooked in butter or oil. Your partner will understand and support you to eat healthy 80% of the time. Then you can still enjoy his cooking and he can make higher calorie things sometimes too.

Nothing works, what’s the point – Is this really true? You have seen many other people achieve their goal so something must work. Maybe just what you are doing is going about it the wrong way

I can never eat the foods I enjoy again – This is a bit dramatic, of course you can in moderation

I don’t want to spend all my time exercising – You don’t have to. Plan your week accordingly and fit it in where you can. It doesn’t have to be every single day. Find something you enjoy doing and make it into a habit.

List 5 reasons why your life will be better when you achieve your goal, some examples:

  • I will enjoy getting my photo taken again and not hide at partys
  • I will have more energy to do the things that I love and enjoy spending time with people without worrying what they think of me
  • I will finally stop worrying about my health, and no longer have to be on a diet my whole life

Refer back to this list often. We must acknowledge when self sabotage is happening and when you feel like you are going off track. Forgetting our real pain because things are going ok and reverting backwards is a vicious circle. We must be honest with ourselves about the reasons why we do this and address our reasoning. If you have any questions regarding this or you feel you have an issue with self sabotage why not give me a message on my email below.

megan.mclean@hotmail.co.uk

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